Let me get my cuddling slippers

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
martianpebbles
feralratbitesu

elon musk is literally like a parody. like he cant genuinely fucking be like this like bro is on some satirical depiction of a spoiled rich kid type shit. like hes a cartoon evil rich guy. throwing tantrums bc someone criticized him or said they didnt like him. spending billions of dollars to buy an app and then changing the app every time someone uses a feature of the app to insult him or hurt his feefees. dude straight up does the cartoon steam blowing out of ears train whistle shit irl every time someone says anything mean to him or is transgender but whats terrifying is he has enough money to do anything he wants and millions of chuds who would gladly no homo suck his cock every night before he goes to bed. like. how has someone come to be like this. why has this been allowed to happen why was he created

play-now-my-lord

i think most rich guys are actually more like elon than they aren't, they all have simpering fanclubs online but enough haters to keep them up at night. i've seen a good half-dozen "richest man in X country" instagram accounts litigating their personal beef with some obscure shitposter who won't stop trolling them. they run the world but everyone doesn't love them so they're not happy

play-now-my-lord

image

this is the richest guy in africa and his mortal enemy, a bored brazilian man

sukimas
toskarin

the woman in the river shows me an axe of silver and asks if it is the one I lost. I respond that it is. she produces an axe of gold and asks the same question again. I shamefully look away, not sure whether I'm comfortable admitting that I was dual wielding

toskarin

she stares at me in abject confusion as I take stock of my tools. a look of dissatisfaction brews on her face. "but why is one golden?" the woman asks.

I tug nervously at my coat, feeling the slightest bit insulted. "well, it's not cheap to have a matching pair," I tell her. "not everyone can afford two golden axes."

"why not two silver axes?"

"I had the money for one golden axe."

the woman crosses her arms. "but the gold is worse for everything you'd want an axe to do."

"it's not. it was more expensive and also really hard to find."

"gold" she says, "is softer than silver."

"it's literally not, though," I say. "that's a really common misconception, but pure silver is softer than gold."

"most metal sold as silver is actually an alloy. that axe is probably sterling silver. I don't believe for a second someone made you a pure silver axe."

I look at my axe, then back to the woman, then back to my axe.

"it was pure silver when it went into the river."

an unreadable expression. with a great splash, the woman disappears into the current.

toskarin

for three days and three nights, I wander along the river's edge, hoping to find the woman again. I throw rocks, twigs, and once or twice a weird looking animal into the water. it's all to no avail.

on the final evening, I see a glint at the river's mouth. I run as quickly as I can, knowing I've finally found... oh for fuck's sake, it's just silver-plated. I lob the awful thing into the river with a huff.

"how can you tell?" asks the woman, peeking out of the water. "that could be the one you've lost."

"it's not."

"but you won't cut your losses and move on," she gestures wide, "one axe the richer?"

"that's too wide of a gesture for a cheap knick knack," I say, gesturing modestly in some approximation of how much I think the silver-plated axe is worth. the woman seems annoyed.

"I've been telling you, you have your real axe. the gold axe is the one that sucks."

"so what?" I spit. "are you suggesting I just use two cheap silver axes instead of my cool pure silver and gold axes?"

she groans. "I honestly would, man."

sleepyforestbeast
piosplayhouse

I feel like a somewhat disregarded aspect of modern internet callout culture is the impact on people with anxiety or paranoia or intrusive thoughts and how the general sentiment of "bad things will only happen to you if you're bad, so just be good all the time" just exacerbates obsessive self flagellation

piosplayhouse

For once I'm actually happy about one of my posts blowing up because I so rarely see discussions about OCD and OCD-flavored anxiety and paranoia as they relate to social media, which leads to things like posts with major OCD triggers blowing up like crazy ("if you don't rb this I don't trust you" type shit). Every so often posts go around with good information but that are worded in an extremely triggering way meant to guilt trip you into sharing it and it makes me really sad because you could've just left that off!!

derinthescarletpescatarian
cybergrindr

can we get a shoutout to trans girls who don't wear makeup

cybergrindr

i don't need to just keep practicing I don't need to just learn to contour or whatever the fuck else I'm 100% happy being bare-faced and the only times i ever felt compelled to do makeup was for other people's benefit!

cybergrindr

watch the mfs with zero reading comprehension get ahold of this and act like I'm personally attacking them for wearing makeup

princessfelicie

I have never worn makeup in my entire life and if you reblog you will give me the energy I need to continue doing fuck all